don’t expect anything anymore.
don’t look them in the eye.
don’t get your hopes up.
you can feel pretty,
but deep down you know they only see the flaws.
how does my smile seem more genuine?
has anyone ever written a manual on how to have fun?
remember how you used to hide?
i once thought i’d gotten over that.
but once i got knocked down. it really only took one half-hearted aim
and i flew
and i dissipated.
part of me floats, most of me is forgotten.
she doesn’t really know what happened.
and she wishes it never had.
in the evening she enters an empty room. the music makes it seem less lonely.
she no longer knows what she wants. she knows that other people can tell.
she knows that other people only see the shy, ugly fragments.
she used to yearn for true friendship, for an unconditional love,
now i know the rules i studied were meant for another game.
she’s shut herself in. better to live in your head than to live in the real world…