once again

outside there’s a storm. even though the house sits on top of the hill i can no longer see the lights in the valley below. sitting in the dark with the curtains wide open i curl in the armchair and vacantly gaze into the vastness below.

currently there’s nothing to look forward to so my only option is to look back. all the way back. back when playing hide and seek was the biggest thrill, when we used to pick apples from the huge apple trees in our garden. summer holidays in the french countryside. we visited perfumeries and i played with my brother in the orchard below the house we rented out. grainy pictures depict a grinning child.

a life of phases. i never used to think much about these memories. transient thoughts. the same girl still lies within, but older and not much wiser.

how i wish i were there right now. i would lift my face to the sun and smile in thanks. surrounded by love and affection, filled with adoration for my mother and father.

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