alone

as she raced through the countryside. each jolt of the train furthered the motion sickness within her stomach. on one phone she’s half watching a show, on the other phone she’s checking every 20 seconds for new messages. the carriage is mostly empty, except for the echo of scraping cutlery emanating from the woman two seats behind her.

she got off the train and searched down the platform scanning the faces on the concord

she made her way to the ticket gates, trying to concentrate on getting home

she stepped onto the tube heading to uxbridge, and resisted the urge to take a photo

she tried to manage her expectations as the overwhelming feeling of loneliness began to envelop her once more

she tried to manage her expectations as she concentrated on the black reflection of the train windows, trying not to increase the nausea

she tried to manage her expectations as the tears rolled down her cheeks, blasphemous in their reasoning

entering her apartment, it took her a while to realise it was so cold. she watched her breath condense in front of her as she unpacked her suitcase straight away. filling her hot water bottle, undressing into her nightgown, lighting the winter scented candles, she moved automatically.

she felt small, like an accessory, hanging on her fireplace. she felt alone because she was.

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